Whod you bang
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
