how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just googled if crying burns calories
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
