my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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