I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
