So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
