drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
