My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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