She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i've created a new STD.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
