i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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