that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
