Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
