So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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