I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
