You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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