bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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