when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
