I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
