Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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