he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
