Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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