My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
