If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
