yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
