dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
