There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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