I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is wine microwaveable?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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