Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
