ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
