It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
