she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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