We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
