Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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