I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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