Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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