What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
