You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
my poor anus
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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