I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just pee around me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
