May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
