Can i not drive my cunt home
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Randomize
