Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
