remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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