i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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