ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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