Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
