she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
