question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
