Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
