Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
