This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize