After last night, I could never be a politician.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
