Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
