I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
