we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize