Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
