I murdered the dance floor call the cops
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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