Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
