i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
