i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize